I’m too lazy to go trough the entry to check spelling mistakes, etc. So, I apology in advance.
Had a nice evening with a couple of friends yesterday. We started with a small pre-party before going out and ended it with a after-party with karaoke that we didn’t end before morning. 
Everyone was in a good mood, my friends made me forget about the stress – it felt so good to forget about all the worries. I’m sad we didn’t take any pictures I can upload…
But here’s the outfit and makeup! Went for a very simple look, black dress and no special accessories, but red lipstick will always save me no matter what!
I got this dress from Marita as a present. She has a really good taste!
OMGGGGGggggggg BLACK SHOES
I’ve decided to work more on my self confidence, I’ve just realized how destructive my thoughts really are. I guess I haven’t been aware about it since I’ve been focusing on forcing myself to think positive and not to let myself feel so much. When people are complimenting me, I usually wonder if they’re trying to hint about something or if they’re being sarcastic. It’s not necessarily to write in details, and I’m not telling that I don’t have any reason to feel like this, because I really do. But it’s more serious than I thought, I hope I will get out of this soon.
One example was when a friend of mine complimented me. He told me that I looked much more healthier and looked so much better since last time we met (last time we met was over three years ago, when I was a XXS). He joked and said he used to be afraid of breaking my bones in my body when we hugged, but now he could finally give me a proper hug. I knew this was meant as a nice compliment and that he told me he preferred how I looked now. But instead of taking the compliment to me, my stupid brain automatically thought that he meant that I looked fat. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I hate my «new» hips and felt really uncomfortable.
Ahhh, I know this sounds like those stereotypical thoughts every girl and women have, but I usually don’t give a f about what other people thinks. I’ve never done that before. This is a result of something that happened in the summer, and even though I got out of it I’m still struggling with different things. These negative thoughts about myself is one of them.
It’s kinda crazy to think that I’m usually easy to cheer up, good friends can brighten up my days easily, like yesterday – but I’m hopeless when it comes to helping myself. I really have no idea about how to cheer myself up, I’m usually stuck in my dark thoughts until someone drags me out of it. Why can’t I be like everyone else where shopping and Ben & Jerry’s are enough to make you feel good?
Comments 9
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Posted 15 okt 2012 at 10:10 ¶You really rock the dress, Monmon! I remember seing you in a dress many times and I always think the same thing: You look awesome in dresses! Always! Looks so good on you, lucky you
And I have to add about the bad thoughts you are mentioning: I have them too. And buying ice cream never helps for me either lol. I mean, if I’m just a bit pissed off about something/someone, eating something yummy might feel good. But usually NOTHING HELPS AT ALL, haha. When it comes to darker thoughts. I feel very bad for many days in a row. It really affects all parts of my life, which sucks. Just wanted you to know you’re not all alone in feeling this!
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Monica Tang Reply:
november 3rd, 2012 at 21:03
Thank you so much, Sofia. Your comment really means a lot.
I’m glad you shared your thoughts, even though it’s sad to hear that you also are going trough these feelings, I’m kinda happy to know that I’m not the only one.
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Jeg skjønner hvordan du har det. Det er nok mange som går gjennom slike vanskelige perioder, og det er helt klart ikke en god følelse. Uansett hvordan man er og ser ut, kan det dukke opp slike tanker hos alle.
Jeg vet at dette kanskje ikke hjelper deg noe stort, men jeg ser deg som en veldig vakker jente/kvinne som ikke har noen grunn til å tenke negativt om deg selv. Jeg kjenner deg jo ikke, men du virker som en ordentlig gladjente! Har alltid sett på deg som en også, så det var litt rart å høre dette fra deg.
Jeg vet ikke hva som har skjedd, men jeg håper virkelig du føler deg bedre snart, og får opp humøret igjen!
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Monica Tang Reply:
november 3rd, 2012 at 21:06
Takk for din kommentar!
Det var veldig hyggelig å høre dine fine ord, jeg setter veldig stor pris på at du tok deg tid til å skrive en kommentar. Jeg blir glad inni meg når jeg vet at det er sånn noen ser meg.
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Du ser AMAZING ut, og det mener jeg virkelig ut. Den kjolen sitter som laget for deg!
Håper du føler deg bedre snart!
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Monica Tang Reply:
november 3rd, 2012 at 21:06
Tusen takk, Signe!
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Bra du har innsikt nok til å se dine indre demoner, eller hvordan skal jeg formulere det lol. Håper det bedrer seg snart. Er fælt å ha sånne mørke drittperioder.
Den kjolen var som støpt for deg. Du har en fantastisk kropp!
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Monica Tang Reply:
november 3rd, 2012 at 21:07
lol, jeg er også glad for at jeg er såpass selvreflektert at jeg i det minste forstår litt av det som skjer.
TAKK MARGRETHE <3
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i like your dress so cute monica
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Monica Tang Reply:
november 3rd, 2012 at 21:07
Thank you so much, Kimi
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I know those feelings. I’ve come to realize it has with low self esteem do to. For instance, I always believe that if a guy comes up to me and starts to talk, showing interest in me, he only does it for a laugh, like go back to his friends and be like «Omg, did you see how she actually thought I thought she was pretty? What a loser! XD» Which I hope is not true, because even though I don’t think I am pretty, it seems as some others actually do. Really need to work on that, accepting a compliment and saying «Thank you» instead of believing they only give me compliments to mock me.
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Monica Tang Reply:
november 3rd, 2012 at 21:14
Thank you so much for your comment.
I agree, you should really work on that. Thinking like that isn’t good for you. I feel kinda the same, and I know how hard it is to not think like that – but I know for sure I think more positive if I’m with good friends. Maybe that can help you too?
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Vennen min
Du skal vite det at alt du får av komentarer fra meg (og fra andre også) er 100% sanne. Du er et fantastisk nydelig menneske både utenpå og inni
Du er pen, søt, vakker, fantastisk, nydelig, en kjempegod venn, en sann inspirasjon og så mye mer
Som jeg har sagt til deg så mange ganger før så er jeg alltid der for deg når du trenger det! Ring meg når som helst! Og trenger du noen gang å komme deg litt bort så er du hjertelig velkommen til meg anytime!
Savner deg altfor mye gullet og kan ikke vente til vi skal treffes igjen
såaltforgladidegvennenmin
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Monica Tang Reply:
november 3rd, 2012 at 21:17
Mariaaaaaa
Tusen takk, å få en kommentar som kjenner meg så godt varmer veldig. Tusen takk for alle fine ord, det betyr veldig mye for meg.
Jeg vet virkelig ikke hva jeg har gjort for å fortjene så gode venner.
Jeg gleder meg til å se deg igjen!
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Posted 05 jan 2013 at 04:59 ¶Post a Comment